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It’s Been a Big Day for Men Posting Their Ls

Choose your loser of the day fighter: Thomas Friedman, Tucker Carlson, or J.D. Vance.

tucker carlson fox news

It’s April 14, 2021 and it is my duty to report that men are posting big Ls today.

For the uninitiated, an “L” is a loss, like in the wide world of sports, and I’m going to take an expansive interpretation of “posting.” But you don’t have to take my word for it! Let’s roll that game tape, starting with our favorite longtime hawk of The New York Times, Thomas Friedman. His latest column, out yesterday, is headlined “We Need a High Wall With a Big Gate on the Southern Border.” It would be provocative if it weren’t so boring and, as it turns out, a tale Friedman has told many times before!

I verified this using the Times’ archive search: Here’s the Nov. 27, 2018 column “We Need a High Wall With a Big Gate” and the April 5, 2006 column “High Fence and Big Gate.” Is this just lazy headline writing? Possibly, but we know for sure that it’s lazy opinion-having.

Who is loser number two, you ask? Fox News head Tucker Carlson. Fresh off giving renewed oxygen to the racist notion that white voters are being “replaced,” he went on a screed about how the COVID vaccines don’t work, which is apparently spreading like wildfire on Facebook. Ls abound!!!!!! Find the video on your own if you must, but here was Dr. Fauci’s take on it:

Our third L-of-a-man today? Long-running loser J.D. Vance, the author of Hillbilly Elegy, who reportedly left the board of some sinister-sounding thing over recent remarks praising—who else!—Carlson. Per Bloomberg:

The newly public Kentucky firm announced Vance’s departure in response to a Bloomberg News inquiry about some of Vance’s recent statements. On Twitter, he’d written that taxes should be raised on businesses that oppose a new spate of state-level voting restrictions.

He also called Fox News host Tucker Carlson “the only powerful figure who consistently challenge elites dogma,” after Carlson came under fire for saying that “the Democratic party is trying to replace the current electorate,” a frequent talking point of white supremacists.

Just please, dear god, don’t let him run for office.

Will men post fewer Ls tomorrow? It seems unlikely, but with each new morning our hope is renewed.