Why Can’t the Bidens Adopt a Normal Dog

Don't have German Shepherds in the White House!

Elizabeth Frantz for The Washington Post via Getty Images

Having pets in the White House is a time-honored tradition. Sure, it’s mostly PR — Presidential pets are more a function of the First Family keeping up the appearances of being Just Like Us — but it’s also nice to think that even in the stuffiest and most hallowed home in the United States there are just a couple little furry guys running around doing stuff. The best presidential pets are those with character — think Socks the cat sitting on Clinton’s shoulders, FDR’s dog Fala accompanying him everywhere to the point where it was a security risk, LBJ and Yuki singing — but what you absolutely don’t want is for your executive pet to go down in history as an absolute nightmare to be around. Unfortunately, Biden appears to have two complete monsters of dogs.

From the New York Times:

One of President Biden’s dogs has bitten several Secret Service agents, and even sent one to the hospital, part of a series of at least 10 incidents of “aggressive behavior,” according to internal emails recently obtained by a conservative watchdog group.

The correspondence shows that Commander, the nearly 2-year-old German shepherd, has struggled to adjust to life at the White House, where he arrived in 2021, and Delaware, where the Bidens own two homes.

Early in November 2022, for instance, officials on the White House medical team chose to send an officer whom Commander had bitten on the arm and thigh to the hospital, according to the emails obtained by Judicial Watch, a Washington-based conservative group.

Just a week later, while walking with Jill Biden, the first lady, Commander bit an agent on the left thigh. That same month, another agent was left “shaken,” according to the emails, when he felt the need to hoist up the chair he was sitting on to use as a shield when Commander began barking at him from the top of a White House staircase.

Holy shit man!! Nightmare!! No thank you! Why is there a gigantic aggressive German Shepherd in the White House!