What's the Longest Filibuster You Could Do?

Let's take our bodies and imaginations to the limit.

PBS NewsHour / YouTube

This week, a (relatively!) quaint piece of news emerged amid the endless stream of five-alarm fire catastrophes emanating from this country: New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker delivered the longest speech ever in the history of the Senate. He toppled the record set by Strom Thurmond in protest of the Civil Rights Act back in 1957. Thurmond’s address clocked in at 24 hours and 18 minutes—an incredible testament to the fortitude of racists. Booker beat him by just under an hour, at 25 hours and four minutes.

Booker’s speech was in protest of the Trump administration, and while it was not technically a filibuster (which is specifically about blocking the passage of legislation), he did commit to the rules by not taking a bathroom break and standing for the entire run of show.

Damn! How did he achieve this feat of governmental strength? Apparently the prep started three days before the main event:

Manu Raju / X

Here’s Booker in his own words to Raju (CNN’s chief congressional correspondent):

I fasted for days into it, I stopped drinking water a long time ago. I think that had good and bad benefits; I definitely started cramping up from lack of water. So if some of you saw me really drink nothing at the end, that was just trying… to stop my muscles from cramping.

And…

I think I stopped eating on Friday, and then to stop drinking the night before I started on Monday. And that had its benefits and it had its really downsides. And so instead of figuring out how to go bathroom, I ended up, I think really, unfortunately, dehydrating myself.

He thinks he really dehydrated himself? Yeah, buddy! Not drinking or eating will do that to you! I’ll give him some grace on that one because this ordeal probably also screwed up his brain for the foreseeable future.

The point is, this is hardcore, no matter how you slice it. You do indeed have to hand it to him, but also, you have to wonder: If a 55-year-old New Jersey senator can do it, could any of us? If not for civic engagement, sense of duty, or moral obligation, maybe just to prove we could? For glory? For spite?

I took this question to Slack to see what my fellow Discourse Bloggers thought about how many hours they believed they could last under the bright lights of the Senate floor:

Sam later added, “I have little faith in myself 4 hours max.” I have faith in you, Sam! Rafi was far more bullish.

At this point Sam and Cros swooped in with an elegant drag of Jack.

He’s not entirely wrong, but when considering my own potential here, I landed more in Sam’s realm. For one, I am not much of a talker. Secondly, stage fright. And third, I would also have to pee. Oh wait, there’s also a fourth point: What on earth would I have to talk about that would get my through longer than maybe like, 45 minutes?! I also asked the team this question:

For the record, I would love to hear all of these speeches. In thinking more on this, I would maybe be able to talk shit for five-ish hours if my best friend was in the room and I could address her directly. Maybe even longer if she asked me questions. Phoning a friend is probably against the rules, though.

Following the speech, the Associated Press described Booker as limping off the stage, and the senator later told NPR that his body was “weary.” While the accomplishment is undeniable, the prep is haunting me. This man claims that he didn’t eat for DAYS and then barely had any water and stood talking (most of the time) for 25 hours?? I’m absolutely not accusing the senator of drug use, but the closest I’ve seen to anything like this is when my friend in college got through finals week on a diet of Red Bull, Adderall, and Nerds Rope. I believe in the runner’s high Booker must have felt in varying degrees during this accomplishment, and I believe in the power of indignation, but this regimen defies everything I’ve ever known about how the human body functions. Except for the Hokas, that is. That tracks.

Booker’s act is now in the history books and he is certainly more worthy as a titleholder than a segregationist ghoul prattling on about how civil rights legislation was "cruel and unusual punishment." Thurmond reportedly took steam baths ahead of his marathon session to dehydrate himself, though the rumor mill also floated the idea that the solution to this “urological mystery" was that he had been outfitted with a catheter (I believe it). He also dined on pumpernickel bread and sirloin steak, which is making his accomplishment sound like a cakewalk compared to what Booker did.

Will Booker’s record actually do much to embolden others or lead to any meaningful shift in the current administration’s reign of terror? I doubt it. It’s a symbolic gesture, though something is better than the nothing we’ve seen so far from the Democrats. But his stamina is clearly formidable—three-day fast or not! And that in and of itself is increasingly becoming a valuable asset in the current landscape of politicians and judges committed to keeping their jobs while on their literal deathbeds (shoutout RBG, Joe Biden, Dianne Feinstein etc). And his protest gave me an occasion to consider my own resilience in this wider race we’re all running, which is valuable in its own way. We sure as hell are going to need it.