These Idiots Don't Know What To Do

Republicans have painted themselves into an incredibly predictable corner on abortion rights.

YouTube

Who could have seen this coming?

It hasn’t even been two years since the craven conservatives on the United States Supreme Court bench gleefully nuked decades of legal precedent by repealing Roe v Wade, and already nearly half the states in the country have enacted some sort of draconian restriction on vital reproductive healthcare.

It’s extremely bad and only getting worse, as we saw on Tuesday, when Arizona’s top judicial body officially reinstated a particularly vile law written in the mid-1800s, thus criminalizing virtually all abortions across the board. (The law is on hold for two weeks pending further law-related whatever.) Pregnant Arizonans are now subject to the whims of lawmakers who lived when owning human beings as property was legal, but women voting was not.

You might think that this would make most Republicans happy. After all, is this not what they’d been working toward for decades now? And in fact, some conservatives are indeed thrilled at the prospect of having women’s bodies policed by the logic and morals of men who were among the first generation of Americans to regularly use toilet paper. But not everyone on the political right is so enthusiastic about having all their wildest hopes and dreams come true. Sure, they love that it’s happening, but a few of the cannier ones are starting to figure out that, uh oh, maybe this isn’t exactly winning us any friends — or elections.

Take, for instance, Arizona Senate candidate Kari Lake, a woman who spent months living under the delusion that she’d actually won the state’s governorship in 2022. Lake issued a statement that made it clear she’d recognizing right away that putting a law from 1864 back on the books isn’t really a great look.