The Blue Origin Flight Was the Worst Thing I've Ever Seen

This gross display of wealth and egomania threw me into a tailspin.

Screenshot // YouTube

I have to admit I had a bit of a childish reaction to this week’s star-studded, highly publicized Blue Origin space flight. Leading up to the event, I was proudly and vocally in the “who cares?” camp, brushing off the entire stunt like a pesky fly in my face. But as it drew nearer I found myself doing googles in my free time. I searched for things like “are they even going to actual space” (yes, barely but still technically) and “likelihood of death on Blue Origin flight” (debatable).

Then the day arrived and I went off the cliff into full obsession. I watched and read all the coverage, seethed and ranted with any willing participant in my vicinity. Turns out I was not blasé about this ordeal. Turns out I cared a lot.

I care because I love space. Like really, really love space. But it’s more than that. This whole thing feels like it was designed in a sadistic laboratory to irritate the hell out of pretty much everybody, whether you’re invested in cosmic exploration or not.

Let’s start with the man at the center, Jeff Bezos. He’s the guy whose rocket company is angling to be the #1 name in space tourism during a time when people are agonizing over the price of eggs and we’re on the verge of global economic collapse. Fun!

Then, of course, there’s the women orbiting him: the all-female crew of Bezos’ betrothed, Lauren Sánchez, Gayle King, Kerianne Flynn (film producer), Amanda Nguyen (civil rights activist), Aisha Bowe (former NASA rocket scientist) and Katy Perry (certified space case).

The lineup of women was touted as some kind of historic achievement, but this was not only NOT the first all-female crew to go into space—cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova did it alone in 1963—it wasn’t even a proper mission! The flight lasted a mere 11 minutes and from what I could tell, the women literally wore custom-fit jumpers like it was a TV show from the 1960s. They did a lot of oohing and ahhing. Perry sang “What a Wonderful World.” The women were also in full hair and makeup, and as Perry courageously foretold in Elle, “Space is going to finally be glam. Let me tell you something. If I could take glam up with me, I would do that. We are going to put the ‘ass’ in astronaut.” Forcing you to read that makes me feel absolutely sick inside, I’m sorry.

Sánchez attempted to squeeze out some fake tears and word salad after the production was over:

And Perry kissed the ground like she was a troop coming home from war.

YouTube

At any point in time, this kind of bloated, ostentatious advertisement probably would have rubbed people the wrong way. At this particular moment, it’s beyond bad taste. It feels instead like pure dystopia. A display that exists so far outside of the realm of reality for nearly every person on earth, it challenges your own sense of sanity and groundedness.

More pointedly, NASA itself is facing looming budget cuts, which is part and parcel of the current administration’s playbook to strip Americans of long-established basic governmental services and then sell them back to us in some mangled form at a premium to help line the pockets of people who are already obscenely wealthy. Whatever you think about space travel—and there are certainly good arguments against it—this is in another galaxy completely. It’s a vile show of wealth with no purpose. A half-hearted message of inspiration and appreciation of our planet, bankrolled by a man who does not give a shit about the environment, or the people of earth. It’s a deeply sad and embarrassing spectacle.

Lucky enough for me, I was in good company this week, as the flight was roundly criticized by a wide range of people for a wide range of reasons. Poor Gayle found the backlash downright “disrespectful.” Aw. Maybe she can commiserate with Khloe Kardashian and Kris Jenner, who were standing by to watch and support. Khloe even had a powerful message to boot: “I’m so excited. I love the messaging that we keep receiving from the staff here at Blue Origin is don’t film it through your phones. Look through your eyes, be as present at possible. And I love just being in the moment.”

Look through your eyes, people! Okay, let me try that, maybe it will help me calm down. This charade was ostensibly about encouraging women to pursue STEM, but my eyes are telling me it’s not empowering at all, but is in fact quite hollow and infantilizing for both the parties involved and the spectators. My eyeballs are relaying messages to my brain that say this actually represents all that we’re losing in real time: true scientific exploration, meaningful progress for women, a future with anything resembling wealth equality or access. No, I gotta say Khloe, it’s not looking good!

Now, I’m loath to quote any president with sincerity, but I kept thinking about John F. Kennedy’s famous line about space exploration as this news cycle unfolded:

We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too.

It’s disorienting to look at the Blue Origin flight alongside Kennedy’s words from some 60-plus years ago. Take it with a grain of salt of course, there’s a ton of posturing and nationalism baked in there, but the shift in perspective is notable. What interests me in the comparison isn’t some simplistic idea that The Space Race was more noble. It’s about the messaging. What was the story we were telling then about our national identity vs. now? Is there even a story being told anymore?

The Blue Origin flight was an elaborate, disgustingly expensive branding exercise. To show that space is accessible (it’s not) and easy to traverse (it’s not). From my viewpoint, it’s remarkable how much it actually managed to turn the idea of space into something utterly devoid of wonder or meaning. In just 11 minutes, space was repackaged into a soulless luxury item, divorced from the hopes or ideals of the people who actually care about the scientific pursuit of the world outside our own. These people don’t care about space; they are simply looking for a distraction from the fact that one day they will die and happen to have a lot of money to throw at that problem.

Despite the flak that Sánchez, Perry, and the others got this week, the real victor and villain in all of this is Bezos, who gets to fly just above all the criticisms that the women are getting. Most of them deserve that criticism, but I’m sure Jeff is happy to sit largely on the sidelines of the public dunking this time around (he’s never minded the hate, anyway). King has suggested that all the backlash is sexist, and she might have a point to a degree, but I’m grateful to live in whatever stage of feminism we’re in because it gives me the power to sneer at the (mostly) rich women in full beats getting rocketed into the sky, imagining themselves as brave. Many things can be true. Misogyny is real, and this stunt was revolting as hell.