How Do You Flip Someone Off?

There are many methods to giving someone the finger — but only some are correct.

Variety, they say, is the spice of life. And what could be spicier than an expertly deployed middle finger at precisely the right moment to maximize the full intended “fuck you” effect? Whether it’s to a reckless driver who cut you off in traffic, or a stodgy parent who makes you turn down your pop-punk album, The Finger is catharsis given physical form, and arguably stands as the single most potent gesture in the history of the human race.

And yet, for something so genuine and pure, the act of flipping someone off is wrought with nuance and complexity. Sure, you jab your middle finger in the air, but there’s more to it than that. Just as jazz is about the notes you don’t play, giving the bird is as much about the other digits as it is the finger itself. And like jazz, everyone has their own unique spin on how best to do it; for every Louis Armstrong flipping someone off, there’s a Chet Baker offering an alternate version of the dreaded rocket.

Here, with the help of my Discourse Blog comrades, are some of the many ways I’ve observed people letting their freedom finger fly: