Henry Kissinger Is Right There: Tina Turner Edition

COME ON.

Photos: Jean-Pierre Muller/AFP via Getty Images; Adam Berry/Getty Images

Welcome to “Henry Kissinger Is Right There,” an occasional series in which we point out, for no reason at all, that Henry Kissinger is right there.

On Wednesday, Tina Turner, one of the most iconic figures in the history of popular music, died at 83.

I don’t really have to tell you about Tina Turner, do I???? She was Tina Turner. You know….Tina Turner? The Queen of Rock & Roll? The one with possibly the most electrifying stage presence of anyone out there? The one with the unmistakable, inimitable voice? The one who came up from nothing and got with Ike Turner and transformed herself from Anna Mae Bullock into THE Tina Turner and sent everybody reeling because she was just that good? The one who endured hell from her piece of shit husband for years and years and years and then left him and rebuilt her career up from nothing again and ascended to world-dominating superstardom in her 40s (which is like the 150s in pop star terms) and secured her place as an immortal emblem of survival and courage and sheer supernova talent?

The one who could do this?

And this?

And this?

And this?

And this when she was 69 YEARS OLD?

Yeah, I probably don’t have to tell you. You probably already knew. We are worse off for having lost her, but much better off for having had her among us. And 83 still feels too young to go.

In unrelated news, 99-year-old war criminal Henry Kissinger is, like, RIGHT THERE. Actually, he is so RIGHT THERE that he is turning 100 years old on Saturday. So…yeah. Very, very, very RIGHT THERE. Like……100-YEARS- OLD-LEVEL-THERE. It is basically impossible to be more RIGHT THERE than soon-to-be-100-year-old war criminal Henry Kissinger is at this moment in time. Just, y’know, saying.

This has been “Henry Kissinger Is Right There.”