Henry Kissinger Is Right There: Henry Kissinger Edition

He's finally gone to hell 🙂

Bernard Schopper/CNP/Getty Images; Adam Berry/Getty Images

Welcome to “Henry Kissinger Is Right There,” an occasional series in which we point out, for no reason at all, that Henry Kissinger is right there.

Today, Henry Kissinger, one of the worst people ever to roam the face of the earth, died at the far-too-advanced age of 100. Think about all the people who died too young in the past 100 years. This guy outlived them all.

Before we get into the rest of this, I’ll just pause so you can mourn this event for a second. Here’s some appropriately somber music.

OK. Let’s do this.

What is there to say about Henry Kissinger that has not already been said? For decades, he was the living embodiment of pure, unabashed evil. The list of coups, massacres, crimes against humanity, and other assorted atrocities that he either directly engineered, helped foment, or helped the world look away from is staggeringly long. People in Chile, Bangladesh, East Timor, Argentina, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, and many other places had their lives, and their countries, utterly devastated thanks in part to Kissinger’s machinations. Kissinger scholar Greg Grandin has calculated that Kissinger is partially responsible for the deaths of at least 3 to 4 million people and probably more. There is so much blood on his hands that people are still, nearly 50 years after he left office, uncovering the depths of the violence he let loose.

But there have been many awful people in the universe. What made Kissinger so particularly hateful was that he paid absolutely no price for these monumental crimes. Instead, he was given the Nobel fucking Peace Prize—a decision that even the people giving it thought was kind of bogus—turned into a sex symbol, embraced by the media establishment, lauded by politicians from both parties (we all remember Hillary Clinton’s SHOCK and HORROR when Bernie Sanders suggested that Kissinger was not good) and generally described by mainstream types as one of the greatest diplomats in American history, a man whose every thought was essential to know.

In short, Kissinger was not some demonic outlier from establishment policy and culture. He was perhaps its ultimate symbol—the wickedest example of the casual disdain with which the U.S. treats the lives of people all across the globe, and the way that the people in charge of our government, our media, and our economy reinforce this imperial villainy. Really, trying to get the pundits and the politicians to condemn Kissinger was always a losing battle, because they were all in the same club.

Also, everyone hated him so much because THE MAN WOULD NOT FUCKING DIE. Like Jesus CHRIST, it got SO ridiculous! It sometimes seemed as if he would never kick the bucket.

But all things must pass, and so, eventually, must all people. Now the earth has lost one of its top monsters, and hell has gained one of its most eagerly-awaited denizens. Satan has saved a special place for our buddy right next to his throne.

Yet the stain Kissinger left has not been washed out, not at all. We are currently witnessing the United States government help fuel yet another genocidal orgy of violence, this time in Gaza. So let that be a reminder: we will never be free of the kind of inhumanity Kissinger exemplified until the systems that shaped him, supported him, and unleashed him onto the world are permanently destroyed.

In unrelated news, 100-year-old war criminal Henry Kissinger is, like, RIGHT THERE.

Wait a minute. No he’s not. That fucker is dead!!!!!!!!!!

For the last time, this has been “Henry Kissinger Is Right There.”