FOWL HYSTERIA 2025: THE FINAL
HERE. WE. GO.
30 birds have been eliminated. Just two remain. And both of them are beautiful, brash, crowd-pleasing powerhouses. It’s anyone’s game.
Welcome to the Fowl Hysteria 2025 final.
(We just got chills. This is so exciting!!!!!)
We won’t waste your time. You’re as hyped as we are. So let’s go.
Remember: ONLY YOUR VOTES determine which birds make it to the final. And you have one week to vote!
Oh, one more thing: you don’t have to be a PAID subscriber to vote. So if you get the note saying “subscribe to vote” and you’re like “I’m not putting money down for this” — you don’t have to! Free subscribers can vote too.
Get your people to the polls! And LET’S DO THIS.
THE FINAL: GREAT BLUE HERON VS. AMERICAN KESTREL
Before we get into this, we wanted to congratulate our two runners-up, the common loon and the bushtit. They fought valiantly, they remain some of the greatest birds in the history of birds, and we love them forever.
Now to the big show. Holy mackerel, what a matchup. Two absolute icons of the skies and seas.
First, there’s the heron. Bow down.
There’s an intangible sort of majesty about this bird—a bunch of seemingly ungainly parts forming together in an almost mystical fashion to make something uniquely glorious. We look at the heron and we see nothing less than the wonders of the earth.
Speaking of wonders…
If the heron is a testament to nature’s dazzling weirdness, the American kestrel is proof of its capacity to achieve streamlined perfection. Look at this bird. Have you ever seen anything so sleek and gleaming in your entire life?
There you are. We have two birds of the highest order. Two creatures that show our planet at its finest. Two animals to cherish and treasure.
But there can only be one winner of Fowl Hysteria. And that decision is in your hands.
Take it away.
And here’s the last bracket of 2025. See you next week.
A reminder: you can check out our complete Bird of the Week list here, and get in touch with your bird suggestions at hello@discourseblog.com.
Rip bushtit
The GB Heron is a very unique, interesting, and cool looking bird that deserves a spot in the final, but I will knock off points for some of its more "jerkish" behaviors. They can be super aggressive when compared to other bird species as it relates to their territory and, even more troubling, I've watched (on multiple instances) them bully ducks in order to snatch their ducklings for a quick meal. I understand "nature is violence" and all that, but a bird that is primarily known for its fishing acumen resorting to unprovoked bird-on-bird violence is a big negative for me here.
All that being said, my vote was going to the American Kestrel anyways because they are (1) the most underrated American raptor, (2) are continuing to see population decline over multiple decades so any additional support helps, and (3) despite being the smallest raptor in this region of the world, they have many traits that make them unique and exceedingly deadly, therefore making them worthy of being crowned the 2025 Fowl Hysteria champ! The earlier blog about them hit all the major things that should win people's votes but just to summarize for the people who may have missed it:
- Multiple killing methods - From a perch, hovering (only American falcon that can do this), or as a family/group to teach the young
- Males and females look VERY different - Helpful when bird-spotting and being able to say a bird is male or female (makes birders like me feel like they really know their stuff). Additional cool fact: The back of their heads have falcon "faces" in them to help deter attacks from behind
- Can see ultraviolet light - Track prey using urine tracks
- Eat tons of insects as part of their wide-ranging diet - Great for keeping your backyard party free of pests. In that way they're like bats but in the daytime and with feathers (and bats are part of the Kestrel diet too).
- Immense lethality-to-size ratio - It cannot be overstated how lethal these birds are despite their small size. In fact, because they are so small and are less able to deal with struggling prey, their beak is specifically shaped to allow them to quickly sever the spinal column and kill prey they've caught. This skill allows them to either eat immediately or store for later. This is an important skill as kestrels are the only falcon that stores food year round and not just during mating seasons.
I always love seeing a Heron, but VOTE KESTREL!!