FOWL HYSTERIA 2025: FINAL FOUR
We weren't expecting THIS.
There’s something about the words “final four” that is just…it’s like you’ve crossed the line that separates the everyday from the extraordinary. These four birds faced down some unbelievably powerful foes, and they survived, and now here we are. From 32 down to just this quartet. This is it, folks.
We know that deciding which birds would make it out of Round 3 was tough for many of you. The results were notably close, the defeats even more epic than usual. Some birds that had dominated in earlier rounds found themselves on the outs. We’ll be honest: we weren’t expecting this to be the final four. But that’s what makes Fowl Hysteria so great—anything can happen.
Four birds now perch before us. Only two can make it to the final. Over to you.
Remember: ONLY YOUR VOTES determine which birds make it to the final. And you have one week to vote!
Oh, one more thing: you don’t have to be a PAID subscriber to vote. So if you get the note saying “subscribe to vote” and you’re like “I’m not putting money down for this” — you don’t have to! Free subscribers can vote too.
So get your people to the polls! And LET’S DO THIS.
Common Loon vs. Great Blue Heron
The loon squeaked past the narrow-billed tody. 52-48! What is this, a presidential election??? The heron’s win over the Steller’s jay was a little bigger, but not much. So both of these birds are coming into this with a little to prove. Who’s it gonna be?
American Kestrel vs. Bushtit
This whole matchup surprised us. The kākāpō had barrelled through things with ease so far, in a way that suggested it might win the whole thing. But then it met the kestrel. And the emperor penguin had been similarly formidable. But then it met our favorite little poofball and that was that. FOWL HYSTERIA!!!!
Will the killer KO the poofball? Will the poofball pulverize the killer? That’s your call.
OK, those are the matchups. Here’s the bracket.
Now OVER TO YOU.
See you next week FOR THE FINAL AHHHHHHH. VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE. WE LOVE VOTING.
A reminder: you can check out our complete Bird of the Week list here, and get in touch with your bird suggestions at hello@discourseblog.com.
Sorry, loon, I gotta stick with my fellow member of the tall and awkward club.
Kind of a coinflip on the second pairing, which was two small but mighty birds. Going with the bushtit on this one just because MY GOD LOOK AT THAT THING!, which is basically what I yell whenever I see them in person.
Kākāpō not being in this round is straight robbery. Go poofball.