For Your Consideration: Diet Coke for Breakfast

Be brave enough to try something new—and change your life for the better.

Photo by Smith Collection/Gado/Getty Images

In today’s fast-moving and unforgiving society, it is very easy to become ostracized for your views. It is hard, in this environment, to be an iconoclast; cancellation looms for those of us who dare to think outside of the norms. For the past several years of my life I have experienced this first hand, in no small part due to one belief that I consider to be foundational: Diet Coke is the perfect morning beverage.

If you are part of what I expect is the majority of the American population, you may be recoiling with disgust right now. By now many of you have been indoctrinated into a way of the bean, of the dirty water that tastes like ass unless you fill it with sugar and other good-tasting things, like milk and more sugar, which makes it taste like those things mixed with ass. I speak, of course, of coffee, although if you are British all of the preceding sentences also apply to black tea. I will not try to convert you; more than likely you are already too far gone. But let me present a different way of life, outside of the grasp of Big Bean.