Elon Musk Knows Crime
Who better to alert the world to nefarious acts of lawlessness than the guy carrying out a soft coup as we speak?
As I write this, Elon Musk’s crew of barely-legal parasites are bulldozing their way through the federal government’s computer system, potentially peeking at everything from personal finance information to classified national security specs. The situation is (duh) bad. The immediate future looks even worse.
Democrats seem constitutionally incapable of mounting even the appearance of coordinated pushback beyond cringe shitposts and a hastily thrown-together photo-op. Sure, there’ll be lawsuits and congressional actions and maybe even some honest-to-god results…eventually. But for now, Musk’s troops are acting like kids in a candy shop, wherein the candy shop is “the entire federal monetary system” and the kids are, well, actual children.
With his minions doing his dirty work, Musk himself has used this not-so-slow-moving catastrophe to expand his personal and professional horizons. Now that he’s wormed his way into the innermost workings of (rapidly eroding) systems of power, Musk has turned his ketamine-addled attention to what really matters these days: Crime. Specifically, crimes that he, himself, has personally invented based solely on whatever he sees online at any given moment.
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