Buying Concert Tickets Is a Crucible of Death Now

The Ticketmaster-Live Nation monopoly has turned simple transactions into bloodsports.

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File this screed under the “things only get worse, all the time” category: the absolute crucible of death you now must cross to get concert tickets.

I’m not reminiscing about standing in line at the box office, stoned out of my mind, waiting to buy Led Zeppelin tickets for your whole group of friends—although that sounds entirely preferable—because I’m not that old. But I am old enough where the thought of crowding into a New York City venue, never being sure when things officially start, and then standing for five hours doesn’t get me going unless it’s someone I really want to see. And on the rare occasion that does happen, I am now forced to contend with the misery and disgrace that is the modern ticket-purchasing system.

Now, this is the circle of trust, and besides, you can’t make fun of me more than I’ve already made fun of myself, so be nice about this next part.