Bitch McConnell Step Down

So long to a terrible man.

Screenshot via Splinter

It feels like just yesterday I was getting in trouble at G/O Media for making fun of Mitch McConnell, certified bad man, for falling up some stairs at a campaign event (to be clear, I made fun of him because I was unaware that he’d had polio as a child). And now he’s stepping down as Senate minority leader after becoming the longest-serving Senate leader in history.

While he’s leaving the leadership role at the end of the year, McConnell said on Wednesday he plans to serve out his current term, through 2026. It feels like the writing has been on the wall for a while, and McConnell knows it.

“I know the politics within my party at this particular moment in time,” he said. “I have many faults. Misunderstanding politics is not one of them. That said, I believe more strongly than ever that America’s global leadership is essential to preserving the shining city on a hill that Ronald Reagan discussed.”

[insert world’s longest jerk off motion here]

Anyway, so long to one of the worst people currently walking the face of the earth. As we bid farewell, it pays to remember some of the lowlights of McConnell’s terrible career.