Justice for Rat Chef
Remy was robbed!!!
Last week, a serious miscarriage of cinematic justice occurred. The readers of Discourse Blog were asked which movie was better—Ratatouille or WALL-E. And instead of choosing the correct answer (Ratatouille) they chose the wrong answer (WALL-E).
For SHAME. I was almost going to title this blog “What Is Wrong With You People” but that seemed a bit aggressive. So instead I will take the high road. In the tradition of Frog of the Week and Bear of the Week, I bring you Rat of the Week, and that rat is Remy, aka Rat Chef, aka the star of Ratatouille, an UNQUESTIONABLY better movie than WALL-E.
Wall-E spends a lot of time roaming around in depressing trash and being sad about it. Rat Chef, on the other hand, roams around in trash and is inspired to reach beyond his circumstances and master the art of cooking. He also keeps his fellow rats alive because of his refined palette.
Wall-E lives in a hellscape of the future. Rat Chef lives in an ever-twinkling Parisian wonderland. Ah Paree!! Ooh la la!
Wall-E communicates with the world to be sad. Rat Chef communicates with the world to bring excellent food into the universe. He’s so intent on making tasty things for the rest of us that he takes over the bodily functions of a ginger doofus!
Could Wall-E, with the assistance of an entire culinary rat army, make a dish so exquisite, so divine, so transcendent, that the most feared food critic on earth has an out-of-body experience that changes him forever after just one bite? I think we know the answer: no. Only Rat Chef could do that.
Also the critic is played by the legendary Peter O’Toole. Is anyone in WALL-E played by the legendary Peter O’Toole? No! That is the power of Rat Chef—he gets the legendary Peter O’Toole to be in a movie about a rat that is a chef. The legendary Peter O’Toole probably got pitched WALL-E and went, “no way, my loyalty is to Rat Chef.”
In conclusion, justice for Rat Chef, Rat Chef rules, Ratatouille rules, Ratatouille is better than WALL-E, case closed. Gavel sound!
Jack out here writing discourse blog's "stop the steal" but it's about how he doesn't like that people like a good movie about a cute robot
“Could Wall-E, with the assistance of an entire culinary rat army, make a dish so exquisite, so divine, so transcendent, that the most feared food critic on earth has an out-of-body experience that changes him forever after just one bite?”
Sorry Jack that Wall-E is too busy literally saving the planet from ecological collapse, falling in love (a far better romance than rat chef’s ginger doofus and angsty pixie dream cook), oh and also inspiring humanity to actually believe in the power of their collective will to overthrow the soothing yet oppressive shackles of capitalism. Wall-E is a socialist hero. Rat chef meanwhile will almost certainly ghostwrite a shitty book for ginger doofus called, like, “the secret ingredient is hard work,” that’ll be a NYT bestseller and praised by bootstrap lovers everywhere.