Bird of the Week: Capuchinbird
Our month-long avian Pride parade marches on with a bird that must be seen (and heard) to be believed.
When Jack first told me that we were doing Gay Animal Month on Discourse Blog, it felt very similar to when, as a child, I first heard about Cap'n Crunch's OOPS! All Berries cereal. 1) Can’t believe this didn’t happen sooner 2) Makes sense 3) I love it!!
How have we not done this before? Oh well. The best time to plant a gay animal celebration tree was 20 years ago and the second best time is now, and I’m ready to sow some damn seeds.
Now, I just want to say upfront that I can’t really compete with an island full of lesbian seagulls (aka heaven!), but what this week’s Bird of the Week lacks in what I would describe as “gay lore,” it makes up for in style, campiness, and pure individualism. No one can match the freak of this bird, don’t even try!
Without further ado, may I present the capuchinbird. What????
If I knew how to type out the sounds of someone stammering for several minutes on end, I would. I probably don’t need to though because you are likely doing it yourself!
Once you’ve regained composure, the first thing to cross your mind after setting your sights on the capuchinbird might be something like, “Holy mother of god, what an insane, otherworldly unbelievably glorious bird.” Or maybe, “HOW can such a creature like that exist?? It looks like a crow got stuck in a luminous bale of hay!” Or perhaps, “My eyes, my eyes! What a splendid and bountiful planet we live on with its rich biodiversity! A South American bird that looks like its tiny head is receding into its bulbous body?? How sublime!”
All of those would be perfectly valid reactions to the capuchinbird (which is nicknamed for its resemblance to the capuchin monkey), but let me tell you something: Looking at this bird only tells you a fraction of the story. To understand it, to really connect with its full glory, you have to hear it. Volume up, seatbelt fastened, and hold on to your fuckin’ butts:
What??? The capuchinbird’s vocalizations are often described as evoking the sweet sounds of a distant chainsaw or a cow (which is why they’ve also been referred to as calfbirds), but I’d like to add another comparison: an ominous alien signal transmitted via ham radio in the middle of the desert (complimentary)! Others describe it as a “drone” which is especially funny because honestly, that’s how some humans manage to bag a partner too! Anyway, these are some WILD sounds, and as you could probably guess, these primal calls are all done in the name of hanky-panky.
Capuchinbirds gather in leks (something we’ve written about a few times before) which are essentially just dudes hanging out in order to perform competitive courting rituals. Alternatively, you can think of it as a choir audition in which the bird to score the solo is not just the victor, but the only one to sing (aka, mate).
Speaking of which, let’s take a music break, shall we?
Okay I just needed to share that with the wider world. Moving on!
Here’s where the homosocial/sexual behavior comes into play. Scientists have observed homosexual behavior in capuchinbirds both in the context of mating rituals and in post-mating life, where it is hypothesized that lack of parental responsibilities among males leads to polygamous and homosexual behavior. Lots to unpack there, and I shan’t be doing that, but… much to consider!
Male capuchins are also known to engaged in “synchronized” calls which obviously isn’t an explicitly sexual activity, but is, I’d argue, in keeping with a kind of same-sex (sometimes sexual, sometimes polygamous) nature of these birds, who frankly just seem like they don’t discriminate in matters of horniness or socialization which is very cool. There’s also reportedly been some recorded instances of males courting other males with vocalizations, though frankly I do wonder sometimes what goes down in these leks we’re constantly reading about. Kind of seems like a free-for-all! When you’re riled up and dancing, things can get rowdy! No need to analyze everything that happens when a bunch of thirsty birds get together.
Regardless of what the capuchinbird does in its free time, we can all agree that these Nosferatu, plague doctor-looking-ass birds (also complimentary!) seem open, down to clown, and will moo until the cows come home in service of bonding, sex, and a life well lived. It’s no lesbian gull island, but it sounds like its own kind of paradise.
A reminder: you can check out our complete Bird of the Week list here, and get in touch with your bird suggestions at hello@discourseblog.com.