Biden's Stan Army is Full of Weird Little Freaks

An incomplete taxonomy of the most annoying fandom online today.

Tasos Katopodis via Getty Images

A good way to think about politicians (and politics in general) is to see them in terms of interests and actions. A “good” politician is one who both shares your goals and is successful at achieving them; a “bad” politician is one who fails at, or actively works against, those goals.

For as much as elected officials are treated like celebrities and icons, they are fundamentally tools who are empowered — and can be influenced — in the service of some larger purpose. Any sort of adoration beyond that is unnecessary and ultimately leads to the sort of fanatical worship that someone like, say, Donald Trump enjoys from most of the Republican base. Which isn’t to say that any sort of political appreciation is an automatic path to cultish devotion. But, when superficial popularity starts to eclipse actual utility, it’s an easy slope to slip down.

Much as they might like to see themselves as superior to the mass cult of personality that has swept the GOP electorate, Democrats are hardly immune to Trump-like standom. It’s why there are so many “It’s Mueller Time” coffee mugs and “Notorious RBG” teeshirts out there to this day. It’s why, despite having watched Joe Biden’s brain erode in real time during last month’s debate, there are a number of extremely loud, astonishingly popular Democratic voices who would rather ensconce themselves in conspiratorial fantasies than face the prospect that the President of the United States is not in any shape to run for a second term in office — to say nothing of actually serving for another four and a half years.

These are the BidenStans, and for the past few weeks online, they have been busy.

In classifying the various strains of Ride or Die Biden fans, it’s important to note that these are not the same thing as #ResistanceLibs. While there is considerable, if not near-total overlap between the two groups, #ResistanceLibs were fundamentally motivated by their antipathy toward Donald Trump, whereas BidenStans are animated by a blinding fidelity to Joe Biden. To their mind, Joe Biden is not simply the greatest president this side of FDR, but to even question his fitness for campaigning is to participate in a vast, disloyal conspiracy perpetrated by nefarious outside stakeholders intent on taking down their hero and savior.

Let’s go through some of the most prominent factions of this depressing movement.