Skip to contents
Office Hours

Office Hours: Thankstaking

Who's hungry?

Scott Rudin Productions, Paramount Pictures

Somehow, we’ve crossed the halfway point of November, and are tumbling headfirst toward a holiday intended to celebrate gratitude and togetherness at the tail end of a year defined by calamity and distance.

So, yeah, it’s gonna be a real fucking weird Thanksgiving, huh folks?

Now, don’t go thinking I’m gonna get all maudlin and emotional on you all. This isn’t gonna be a saccharine “and what are you thankful for?” kumbaya roundtable. If you’ve got a reason to be happy this year, that’s great. If you wanna spend your Thanksgiving drunk and dyspeptic and posting at an absolutely alarming rate? More power to ya. And if you mark the day by vowing to dismantle the European settler enterprise that left millions of native peoples dead and displaced and disenfranchised? Buddy, I say: Hell yeah.

All I ask — demand, really — is that however you want to spend next Thursday, you do it alone, or at most, with your roommates or the family members who are already in your house — you know, the people you’ve been quarantining with. That’s it. No one else. No travel, no big family get-togethers, no “real quick lemme just pop in and say hi” house hopping. If you’re gonna do something, you’re flying solo this year. Sorry, that’s just how it’s gonna be.

In any case!…

The inexorable march of time draws us closer to Thanksgiving (and eventually: Death). So, in the interest of making things a little more bearable this year, let’s get cookin’. Here’s the deal: Drop your favorite Thanksgiving recipes – or really, any recipe you think someone might enjoy in the coming weeks — below. Nothing big, mind you. Remember, you’re not going anywhere this year. These are recipes for one (or maybe two or three. I d’know what your domestic situation is. Who cares.)

Beyond that, though, go nuts. Traditional turkey shit, utterly deranged jello moulds, boozy gravy, it’s all fair game. With a week and a half to go, this should give folks plenty of time to stock up on whatever supplies they might need to concoct your epicurean recommendation in time for their RESPONSIBLE AND COVID-SAFE Thanksgiving next Thursday.

Have at it folks. I’m hungry.