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Office Hours

Office Hours: Boob Toob

All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom, and a poom-poom — just block your cam.

Screenshot/WGBH - TV

By now you’ve probably heard that high profile New Yorker writer, occasional CNN pontificator, and alleged sex pest Jeffrey Toobin was busted with his Toob out during a video chat with Jane Mayer, Masha Gessen, Jelani Cobb, and other marquee names reportedly on the call.

Now, look: I’m not here to litigate the specifics of the alleged cranking, Toobin’s predictably bland mea culpa, or the cadre of professional reply guys who have since opted to defend Jeffrey by following his lead and shoving their unsolicited, er, opinions out in the open without prompting. No one should be pullin’ a Toobin in the middle of a Zoom call. If Jeffrey — or anyone else in his compromised position — gets fired for playing SCROTUS, and subjecting his unwilling coworkers to his middle aged masturbation marathon, I say: good riddance to bad rubbish.

But I’m also keenly aware of how much the switch to remote work has opened our personal lives up to professional inspection from coworkers and colleagues and other people we’d never imagine inviting into our homes before the pandemic hit. Absent minded nose-picking, flatulence, wardrobe malfunctions and the like are now no longer confined to the safety of your living room, and we stand at the cusp of a brave new world of absent minded humiliation.

So I ask you: What’s the worst, most embarrassing, most mortifying thing you’ve done — or seen — on a video conference?

Don’t be shy. This is a safe space. We’re all human. And I trust that if you’re the sort of person who is smart enough to subscribe to this blog, you’re also the sort of person who is smart enough to know the difference between a hilarious accident (a-okay!) and a Toobinesque instance of professional misconduct. So, please, let’s keep things nice and above board, so as to speak.

Have at it folks. Zoom horror stories. Let’s do it. Office Hours are open.