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The World

Emmanuel Macron Getting Slapped Is the Feel-Good Hit of the Summer

More like Emmanuel SMACKron.


Far be it for me to endorse overt acts of violence against the ruling political class — heavens no! Having said, that, please, watch this video of French President Emmanuel Macron getting the shit slapped out of his vulpine punim this morning, and tell me it doesn’t give you a little tingle of pleasure in the less-evolved, reptilian part of your brain.

Blammo! Kapow! Zut Alors!

According to BFM, the unidentified assailant shouted “down with Macron!” while smacking the bejeezus out of the French leader during a meet-and-greet in Drôme. Two people were reportedly arrested. and no immediate reason for l’assaut was given (although, if I had to guess, it probably has something to do with the fact that Macron sucks just an enormous amount of ass in general).

But here, watch that video again:

Look at this!

Screenshot / YouTube

I mean, c’mon!

Screenshot / YouTube

The hand! The face! The Worldstar-esque “Oooooooooh”!

Like it’s British cousin “the Milkshake” (‘member that one?) The Slap is essentially the modern iteration of the ancient Roman tradition of Memento Mori. It’s a way to remind the ruling class that despite their lives of unimaginable luxury and ease, they’re still just sacks of meat and skin whose actions and decisions have consequences for the rest of us — and should, accordingly, face some damn consequences themselves.

Does that mean everyone should stop what they’re doing right now, and go out to slap their nearest high-ranking elected official right in the damn face? Look, you do you, okay? I’m just saying that no one seemed seriously hurt, and by the French government’s own admission, “Exchanges with the crowd and handshakes resumed.” Perhaps after “modern democracy” and “the baguette,” this’ll be the next big export from our friends across the ocean.