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Politics

Donald Trump’s Eulogy For Colin Powell is Extremely Funny

Folks...it's comedy!

"Donald Trump" by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

One of the most uncomfortable truths of the past four years is that despite being a bigot and a crook and a vile egotistical donkey brain, Donald J. Trump is a comedy genius — sometimes intentionally, sometimes not.

Here’s his just-released statement commemorating former Secretary of State/Defense Colin Powell, who died Monday from a combination blood cancer and COVID.

There’s a lot you can say about Colin Powell: that at best he was tacit enabler for a catastrophic war of opportunity and at worst he was the active architect of millions of deaths for a cause he knew to be utterly bogus. This isn’t a blog about that because we wrote that one yesterday. This is a blog about Donald Trump writing one of the funniest eulogies I’ve ever seen — starting with the phrase “wonderful to see” and continuing through with “but anyway” and ending with an exclamation point.

You know what’s an incredible masterstroke of comedy? Talking absolute shit about someone and then saying “hope that happens to me someday” when they die. It’s not punching up OR down. It’s just punching yourself in the dick – for laughs! And reader? I respect it.

Sometimes someone coins a phrase so potent and memorable that it immediately becomes part of my everyday conversational usage. Yesterday Trump insisted that whenever Louisiana Senator Bill Cassidy walks down the street “the great people curse him.” What an incredible sequence of words. It’s like something out of the bible, if the bible were written by a racist septuagenarian with a limited mental capacity. Just you wait, it’s gonna end up in a blog of mine sometimes in the not too distant future, I promise.

We understandably spend a lot of time focusing on the fact that Trump is a racist, fascist blight on the human race as a whole. All true! But the last few days have served as a vital reminder that in addition to being those unquestionably true things, he’s also a singular talent at cracking me up.

Sure he’s made a lot of mistakes, but anyway, thanks for the laughs!