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Worst Person You Know Won’t Leave Party

Cuomo's only moves now are gaslighting and lies.

cuomo press conference

Andrew Cuomo, under the weight of multiple sexual harassment allegations, several political malfeasance scandals, an impeachment investigation, and the combined karmic retribution of a career full of sadism, called a 1 p.m. press conference today and announced that he would not be resigning, actually, and that everything was fine.

At this point it is pretty clear: everyone hates Andrew Cuomo and wishes he would leave. On Friday alone, the majority of New York’s congressional delegation called for his resignation, and the caucus of state senators from Long Island called for him to step aside during the investigation into his conduct, joining a rapidly growing group of national and state party leaders who want Cuomo to go. And yet, he will stay.

Also on Friday, New York magazine dropped an exhaustive investigation into Cuomo with new allegations of harassment and assault and new evidence of bullying by his staff. The New York Times followed up, five minutes before Cuomo was set to speak, with the testimony of dozens of current and former Cuomo aides who collaborated the picture of him as an abusive, perverted, sadistic boss.

But Cuomo, you see, is simply built different. He has been untouchable in the state his family has owned for decades, shrugging off scandal after scandal, and it appears he thinks his luck will hold.

During the press conference, Cuomo stressed that “as a former attorney general” he understands that “there are many motivations for making an allegation.” (the New Yorker reported last week on a mysterious smear campaign against Cuomo’s first accuser). He insisted that people should wait until they have all the information before making a decision, filling the air with more rhetoric about “facts and opinions” (The Times has evidence that his aides rewrote the nursing home reports). He said politicians who had “formed an opinion” of him without the facts “reckless and dangerous,” and saying he would not “bow to cancel culture,” because he was “not part of the political club” (his father was literally the governor). He later reiterated that “a lot of people allege a lot of things for a lot of reasons.”

This is, forgive me, gaslighting. This is Cuomo’s only move. There is no subtlety to this man, no guile. He will stand on the stern of his sinking career shouting “no YOU’RE wrong,” and firing his cannons at any boat that comes near until the water goes over his head. We can only hope that he (metaphorically) drowns as quickly as possible.