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Politics

Big Baby Has No Friends

Let's all laugh at Trump getting ghosted over and over again.

"President Trump Participates in a Roundtable Meeting with Restaurant Executives and Industry Leaders" by The White House is marked with CC PDM 1.0

It is objectively funny that Donald Trump is ending his presidency as an historically unpopular person whose ignominious exit is thanks in no small part to the fact that he is galactically stupid.

It is also extremely funny to me, an admittedly spiteful person, that in the final moments of his presidency, some of Donald Trump’s closest onetime allies are suddenly super-duper busy, and, “gee whiz, Mr. President, sir. Looks like we’re gonna have to skip that extremely tacky pity party you’re throwing for yourself. Sorry, maybe next time!”

Satisfying as it is, the fact that Trump is being abandoned by everyone around him is, in and of itself, not particularly surprising. What’s great, though, is just how genuinely lazy everyone is being about coming up with excuses to skip the farewell rally he has planned before Joe Biden is inaugurated.

“Sorry sir, but the logistics, you see. It’s all very challenging. Oh well, bon voyage!”

Please feel free to speculate about what “pressing commitments” a 71-year-old retiree might have on a Wednesday morning.

Former White House Communications director-turned-unit of measurement Anthony Sacarmucci was invited to Trump’s goodbye party, despite having made a career of calling the president a fascist crook since leaving the administration. Surprise surprise, he’s not going either, and claimed his invite was a sign that the president was desperate to pad the guest list. Don McGahn, the onetime White House Counsel who was Trump’s top campaign lawyer in 2016, also had to send his regrets.

To be clear, none of these people deserve your sympathy or appreciation. Each of them helped prop up the president’s racist, violent, cruelty-infused administration, and are, to varying degrees, despicable ghouls in their own right as well. If there was any justice in this world, they’d all have incurable kidney stones for the rest of their lives.

Still, the fact that Trump keeps getting ghosted over and over again by people too lazy to even come up with a good excuse is very funny to me. What a big dumb baby.