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Fever Swamp

Why Is Ted Cruz Screaming At Me

He is doing so much of the screaming.

ted cruz cpac
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Ted Cruz has unfortunately not sunk into the sea or anything like that. No, he was at CPAC in Orlando today, where he decided to really experiment with what I am told the comedians call “crowd work.”

Cruz started with a really hilarious joke:

This is the comedy genius we know and love! Quips about the time you abandoned your constituents as they froze to death and went to Mexico are funny, everyone knows this.

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Cruz wasn’t done. The master of mirth had more A+ material for the crowd.

Note the utterly bizarre high note Cruz reaches on the “murdered.” You might think this is the sound a desperately unfunny person makes when he’s trying to be funny, but that’s the genius of Cruz’s anti-comedy stylings. He’s playing on a different level. This is why they’ll say “Ted Cruz CPAC 2021…you had to be there.”

Um, uh, this is what the hall of famers do, they joke about Star Wars, OK I can’t keep this up.

Why is Ted Cruz screaming at me….