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Here’s a conversation I had with Discourse Blog’s own Jack Mirkinson this morning:

The context for my aggrieved pettiness isn’t important here. What matters is that boy does it feel good sometimes to be motivated by an all-consuming sense of spite, doesn’t it? Truly, what’s better than occasionally letting your own sense of damaged superiority propel you forward in a mad burst of sheer resentment and enmity?

Let me give you an example: I’ve spent decades hating Dashboard Confessional — hating them — because in 11th grade I was dumped by a girl who was annoyingly obsessed with their brand of skinny whiny dork (and evidently not mine). Is this a good use of my energy? No. Do I care? Also no.

So, friends of the blog, I ask you: what’s your petty hatred? Who’s your most cherished superficial nemesis whether they know it or not? What absolutely meaningless rivalry gets you out of bed each day? Let’s do this.

Update, 5:23 PM: I’m so proud of you petty demons. Thanks for sharing your superficial grievances and burning hatreds with the rest of the class. That about does it for me, but as always, feel free to keep the good times rolling yourselves – see you next week!

pic via Universal Studios