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The past week has been the most insanity-inducing seven days in recent memory. Each time I open my computer, glance at my phone, or ask my wife why she’s cackling like a witch on acid, I’m presented with yet another example of how staggeringly, blindingly, galactically stupid everything has gotten.

And yet, like Strega Nona’s endless pot of pasta, the crazy just keeps on coming, with no sign of letting up. Infect the entire military with a plague? Sure! Mike Pence has no work friends? Duh! A fifteen-year-old TikToker is either the new Deep Throat or a strategic disinfo asset? Why not!

If it sounds like I’m spiraling, it’s because I am. The center is absolutely not holding these days. The elastic waistband of our national underpants is just too warped and stretched to ever snap back to normal now. The only way to go is forward. So I ask you simply: What’s next? What’s the next shoe to drop? What shocking revelation or horrifying development will blast away our last operational brain cells this week? October clearly isn’t done surprising us yet, so what’s it gonna be folks? Office hours are open, so start speculating wildly!

Update, 5:21 PM EDT: Wow, I’m honestly not sure if you’re all psychotically optimistic, or optimistically psychotic. Either way, what’s important is that you’re looking at the glass as being half full. What it’s full of is anyone’s guess, but I’m happy you’re all keeping things upbeat. See you tomorrow for the VP debate…!

(pic via Jersey Films, Native Pictures)