Skip to contents
Office Hours

Office Hours

First off, an apology: last week I kvetched that there was no official “song of the summer” yet, only for the universe to absolutely shove it back in my face by unleashing “WAP” on a (mostly) grateful nation just 48 hours later. Man plans and god laughs, no?

Anyway. Speaking of man planning and god saying “nah,” Joe Biden announced literally just minutes ago that he’d chosen Kamala Harris as his running mate. Finally, we can stop speculating — and more importantly, stop using the term “veepstakes.” Truly, the anticipation was simply killing me (i.e please, I was begging for the sweet release of death).

So now that we finally know who’s poised to take the presidential baton out of Biden’s leathery beef-jerky grip once his term is up, let’s speculate wildly on who else he might choose to help run the country if he wins. There’s a whole bunch of cabinet seats what need fillin’, and frankly, your suggestions are probably as good as anything the (shudder) DNC could probably come up with.

So have at it folks. Pick Joe Biden’s hypothetical cabinet. Be strong. Be brave. We’ve got nothing to fear but fear itself, and also the immediate next 5-8 coming news cycles.

Update, 5:23 PM: Wow, where does the time go? An hour come and gone, and it looks like we’ve pretty much figured out the entire theoretical Biden administration. Congratulations, everyone — we did it! Now to take a big gulp of coffee, and quietly turn by brain off for the next 3 months…

(image via universal pictures)