I Would Simply Smack the Tiny Spy Drone
Ring's new flying spycam is horrifying but consider this: you can probably smash it.
Let Me Tell You About My Heart
Or, how some people tried to un-fuck my fairly fucked-up organ.
Pandemic Life: I Started Cross Stitching and I Can’t Stop
How an accidental hobby became my obsession.
A Definitive Ranking of How Much Each State’s DNC Roll Call Felt Like a David Lynch Movie
Another deeply weird night at the Big Dance.
I’m Tired of This Already
The Kamala Harris conversation is exhausting and infuriating in every direction.
My Long, Maddening Search for a Joe Biden Bumper Sticker
A nationwide quest to discover if literally anybody is 'ridin' with Biden.'
I Know What I Googled This Summer
What have I been up to? Let my search history lead the way!
I Can’t Stop Thinking About the Bat That Did This
One microscopic speck of a virus, and here we are. Think about that!
This Brie Larson Car Commercial Is the Only Thing That’s Real to Me Anymore
My world has vanished. Only the commercial remains.
How Is It August Already
Can you believe we ever thought we’d be even partially out of this thing by now?
Pandemic Life: Unsolved Mysteries
I'm still haunted by the mystery of my hometown's banana peel pile. What strange things can you just not shake?
Pandemic Life: My Husband Got Really Into Miniatures
When the world started to fall apart, Tony decided to make his own.
Please, Fuck Off: VC Startup Guys
The brightest minds in cutting-edge business are some of the dumbest motherfuckers out there.
A Good Idea About Straws
Most idiots have been looking at this issue all wrong—except for me.
Saying Goodbye to My Therapy Fears
Therapy has saved me, and I'm done feeling ashamed about it.
A Wild and Terrifying Story About My Cats
I should have known they were bloodthirsty assholes.
Let’s Not Do This
Protesters everywhere are insisting that racism has "small dick energy." Why?